Do you think that a relationship is neccesary for someone to be happy?
FAQ: Frequently Asking Queers is an interactive video advice column that allows users to ask questions which will be answered by others using video!
To answer this question: record a video, upload it to YouTube (or Vimeo) and paste the link in the comments below.
If you would prefer not to respond via video, we value your text response in the comments below.
To ask your question anonymously, visit: http://www.formspring.me/thisisthesap
Views: 6
Replies to This Discussion
-
Permalink Reply by Someone Awesome (Jaime) on -
-
Permalink Reply by Chris Ocean on -
I agree with a lot of what you've said so far, particularly about emphasizing your value to yourself. Self-worth is incredibly important because our internal self-image is the beginning of all other pursuits. More importantly, I agree that a relationship cannot be the beginning and end of your happiness.
A lot of people make the mistake of choosing a particular relationship to be the lens through which they understand and appreciate all of the other aspects of their life. As you said, this is a dangerous decision to make, however, I would argue that ANY relationship that takes this turn can be equally damaging. Whether that relationship is platonic or not, attempting to balance your entire life on any single relationship almost assures you that it will tumble. When building a house it is important to have a firm foundation, likewise, when building a life it takes a support system of MANY relationships of varying significance and function to live a truly balanced life.
Towards the end of your video you brought up the importance of family and friends, however, I would say that those relationships answer your question most fittingly: Is a relationship necessary for someone to be happy? I would say yes, in part. Fundamentally, humans crave contact, validation, and support regardless of where it comes from. We are emotional, mental, and physical beings and each of these aspects and their desires are supported by different types of relationship. It is important to foster healthy relationships where these needs are mutually respected by the parties involved.
At the end of the day, the only consistent part of your relationships is you (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object_relations_theory), you create the images of the people you love and hate and also decide how you relate to them. That being said, your ability to relate to others is hinged on your ability to relate to yourself. As stated before, unless you are happy with yourself, you cannot expect to be happy with others. HOWEVER, relationships are a necessary part of the human experience, it is essentially THE human experience, haha. I've talked too much already, but I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from the epic, Gilgamesh. It's a story about two friends and their love for each other:
"For being human holds a special grief
Of privacy within the universe
That years and waits to be retouched
By someone who can take away
The memory of death."
I could go on all day-- death representing the primary separation of a child from its mother, from the safety of the womb; the privacy of the rich universe of meaning that each of us builds within this heuristic experience called life and the grief associated with trying to communicate that world to others! Amazing.
© 2012 Created by Someone Awesome (Jaime).
